Recollections on Our Wedding and our First Year…

 

My Dearest Tonya,

It’s hard to believe that it’s already been a year since we got married. They say that time really flies, and I think this past year is proof of it. I remember on March 2^nd of last year, when we were frantically working our butts off at my parents’ house to try and get all of the last minute details finished. Tensions were high; there were plenty of worries in the air (family not making it into town, things not being finished, etc). There were a lot of stressed-out nights and a lot of time spent crying, but after many months, we were nearing the finish line.

The day of the wedding arrived. Despite some worries about the reception hall being properly decorated, things turned out for the better. Most of our family members and friends were able to make it in, despite icy roads, closed interstates, and other assorted weather issues. Everyone made it to the church on time, and we were ready to go. After spending a good deal of time talking with my groomsmen, getting advice and words of encouragement from my father, Grandpa John, Jerry, and Dustin, as well as going to the bathroom several times (hey, I was nervous!), I was ready for the ceremony... or at least as ready as I could be. It still seemed a bit surreal that I was actually getting married in the next hour. Following the ceremony as was laid out to me, my groomsmen and I went and took our places at the head of the church.

Now, I’m used to standing in front of large crowds. I performed in plays and sang in choir concerts since I was in Kindergarten. This feeling was a little different. Instead of a bunch of random strangers with only a few people I recognized, this was a sea of familiar faces, ranging from family to friends to co-workers. The feeling was a bit overwhelming and it definitely didn’t do anything to help calm my already shaking nerves.

The music started and everyone did their part. Brittany and Dustin came down, then followed by the bridesmaids, Lucy and Jonah. Everyone who walked down the aisle (save for the little ones) looked at me and smiled as they walked down, as if giving their approval. Finally, the music re-cued up and you started walking down the aisle on your father’s arm. I won’t lie, I was incredibly happy and filled with emotion. My eyes started watering. I fought back the tears (it was a little too early for me to start crying, and I was sure it wouldn’t have helped prevent your crying in any way) and watched as you came closer. I remember Jordan patting me on the back briefly as if to give me encouragement and say “Great job, I’m proud of you”. I remember staring into your eyes, looking over you in your beautiful dress, and thinking to myself how absolutely lucky I was to be marrying you. You’ve always been sweet and caring, very loving, and always keeping me on the right path. Words cannot really describe how amazing you looked in that dress; you looked absolutely beautiful and you radiated light. The emotion I saw in your eyes is what, I believe, true love looks like.

The ceremony itself seemed awfully short, yet long at the same time. I can still remember you squeezing my hand during the vows, giving a gentle squeeze during parts that really touched you or parts that really pertained to us and our feelings for each other. I remember us laughing when Norm spoke about the weather, and stressing about wedding affairs. I recall chuckling and hearing the guests laugh a bit when you had to have Norm point out to you where to sign, then seeing that you signed it Tonya SBarger. We lit the candle and were soon pronounced man and wife. I finally got the big kiss in public that I never thought I’d experience (it’s on video, too!), and you got the hug you were eagerly anticipating for the entire ceremony.

I won’t say much about the reception, other than the fact that I had an absolute blast at it. The food was pretty good, and I enjoyed the cake, even though I know you didn’t like it too much. The DJ, despite being a little lecherous toward some of our female friends, did a great job playing the tunes we had requested, and within the styling/eras of our choice. Easily, my favorite part of the reception was our first dance. Even though it wasn’t the correct version of our song, I loved holding you, swaying back and forth, singing to each other. I felt like the universe stopped at that moment and all focus was centered on us.

I remember that we talked about how it might be difficult to get a lot of people up and dancing since we were not having alcohol at our reception, but I was pleasantly surprised at the number of people who danced, and who kept dancing. Even people who I didn’t think would dance, like my mother and my grandfather, even got up there. We danced until we were beat, made a hasty retreat (wow, that rhymed!), and made our way to McDonalds for a quick supper, and then went to the Mariott. After such a stressful morning and a busy day, Ie wanted nothing more than to get to our room, change into some comfortable clothes (I think my tux was probably just a little bit more comfortable than your dress ever was), relax, and spend some quiet time with my wife, away from all of the other people.

I’ve never stayed in a hotel room as fancy and wonderful like the Mariott suite we had, but I know that I have never felt more relaxed than I did in that incredibly comfy bed and the room service. Of course, it was an unbelievable feeling to wake up next to you as my wife. It almost made me feel that the entire 10 months leading up to the wedding was nothing more than a dream. It was great to spend time with everyone at our post-wedding brunch, and I felt it gave us a good chance to talk with the people most important to us in a relaxed atmosphere. I’d rather not even think about our wonderful trip to Chicago, but the stay in Mt. Vernon was incredibly calming. I enjoyed having the entire hotel to ourselves!

Our first year as man and wife certainly had some good moments. We had a lot of fun inviting people over to stay with us, including Dustin, Kellie, & Lucy, Hallie & Ryan, and the random friend or two who showed up and crashed on our futon. We were involved in two separate weddings, and we attended one other. We met some new friends, and I reconnected with a few old ones. You had a successful surgery to remove some lumps which were, thankfully, benign. We found a church, and we have made some good steps toward building a better relationship with God and creating a better family.

2008 hasn’t started out as the greatest of years for us, but I know that things will improve. We made it through our first year, which everyone says is the hardest. Despite dealing with all of the downs, and enjoying the excitement of all the ups, it’s been a great first year and I’m so happy and thankful that I got to spend it with you. I can tell you, from the bottom of my heart, that no matter where our life leads us, I am glad that I have you by my side. You are my best friend, and there is no one else in this world that I want to spend the rest of my life with. You are the beauty to my dork, the apple of my eye, and the love of my life. I couldn’t ask for anyone better, and I am so lucky that I have you for my wife.

 

HAPPY 1-YEAR ANNIVERSARY!!!!! I LOVE YOU, TONYA!!!!!

 

-Matt

XOXOXO