An odd dream…

I figured that, since I had a funny experience the other night, I’d share it with everyone.  I was sleeping, and was woken up at about 3 or 4 in the morning.  My lovely wife was kind of sitting up/leaning on one elbow, looking over at me with closed eyes.  She started talking incoherently, and then she started telling me about how she knew what she was going to get me for Christmas and that she had the best idea ever.  Naturally, I was intrigued so I decided to question her, asking her what she was getting me that was “so cool”.   She proceeded to tell me what she had gotten me a book of magic spells.  She thought it would be just so darn cool, because then I could cast all sorts of awesome magic spells, like making brooms dance around and sweep the floors like in the Disney movie “Fantasia”, or giving the cats the ability to talk so she’d have more people to talk with during the week.  I was dumbfounded by this at first, and after talking for a little while longer, I realized that her eyes were closed, and she was dreaming… just talking out loud about it.

She eventually fell back asleep, but she got a good laugh about it when I explained to her what she told me in her sleep.  I found it to be quite amusing, especially how far-fetched her ideas were.

The Mom I Never Knew

I’ll keep this post short, sweet, and to the point. 

Today marks the 16th anniversary of the death of Kathryn Shramek, Tonya’s mother (and my mother-in-law).  She died in 1992, which was several years before I met Tonya.  Tonya was just a little girl when her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer, and ultimately passed away.  It is hard to deal with a death in the family, but it is all the more difficult when you are not only that young, but it is your mother.  I cannot say how painful it is, as it has not happened to me, but I have seen how it as affected Tonya’s life. 

I never had the chance to meet my other mother.  She passed before I met Tonya.  From everything I have heard about her, she was a wonderful, kind, sweet, and caring woman.  I have seen many pictures of her and she was a very beautiful woman. No one has a bad thing to say about her, and several people have made mention of how similar Tonya and her are.  It saddens me to know that I will never know her in this life except through pictures and other people’s memories, it saddens me that Tonya had to grow up without her mother, and saddens me to know that our children will not have the opportunity to hug their grandmother or get to know her.  Despite this every now and then I can feel her presence as she watches over us.  I speak to her occasionally, and I know that she is very proud of the woman that Tonya has become. 

I take solace and comfort in the fact that; God willing, we will all be together one day in Heaven.  Tonya and I will be able to hug our Mom and get to know her once more.

Tonya has written a story regarding her mother.  You can find it here.

Una Poema

This is a small poem for my wife. Its a haiku. (5 syllables, then 7, then 5 syllables). I thought about this a bit this morning, and this is what I came up with. I’m not much of a poet. I hope you like it, sweetie.

To My wife, Tonya,

Beauty, sweet, caring, loving,

I am lucky to have you!

On the topic of religion…

When I was growing up, I did not have anyone in my family who was very religious, and religion was not a key part of my upbringing. My parents used to go to a catholic church a long time ago (over 23 years), and I was baptized when I was little. Due to a falling out between my parents and their church, they opted to forego religion, and the only times we ever stepped foot into a church was for a wedding or a funeral. We never prayed, we never attended church services, and religion was never discussed, save for very rare occasions.

I had a great group of friends in school, yet none of them were actively involved in the church. I did not have a religious friend to pull me aside and speak to me about the bible, my future, or to bring me to church with them. I didn’t feel the strong tug in my heart to go on my own either, so I went along in life without thinking about going to church.

Through all of my life, I knew that there was a God, that Jesus died on the cross for our sins, and to promise us salvation should we accept him as our Lord and Savior. Even without going to church, I knew in my heart that this was true.

Luckily for me, a few years ago I met Tonya (for the second time). As we fell in love and began to plan our future together, we occasionally discussed religion. Religion is very important to her; she wants a Christ-centered life, and wants a husband who has a Christ-centered life as well. She bought me my first bible for our first Christmas together, which is a learning bible. It has been a wonderful resource for me. On each page, alongside the words of the bible, are several common/popular questions asked about the passages, and provides the answers to those questions. Of all of the gifts she has given me, the bible is probably one of the most important ones, aside from the desire to help bring me closer to God.

Over the past year, Tonya and I have been looking for a regular church home. Several months back, we came across First Assembly of God (http://www.firstagcr.org/). We have been going there on a nearly-consistent basis. Unfortunately my schedule requires me to work Sunday mornings once a month, and so I am unable to attend on those Sundays. Our church features several services each Sunday, with a traditional service at 9am and a contemporary service at 10:30. We attend the 10:30 service, which has a live band and a great atmosphere. Our pastor has just finished a series on breaking the chains of the seven deadly sins, and is beginning a new series this coming Sunday.

About two months ago, shortly after the beginning of the new year, Tonya and I attended service as we normally try to do. At one point during Pastor Larry’s sermon, my mind started to think about my desire to attend church on a weekly basis and becoming more actively involved in our church community. I had been looking to get out of Target for a while and find a steady Monday through Friday job. After leaving, my mind continued to think about the possibility, and I felt that God was urging me to become more active. After much praying and pondering (and a little help from Target by passing me over on the promotion), I decided to start seeking a new job that would help me fulfill that goal.

My hopes are that, with a new job, Tonya and I will be able to start going to church every single week, and start to explore different activities and ministries within the church. I think it would be great for the both of us individually, as well as a married couple. As we attended Easter service today, a group of children from the youth group did a performance in complete darkness – they created images with their hands (in white gloves) against a black light, alongside a song (the name of the song escapes me, I’ll ask Tonya later). It was really moving, and it made me think about having a young child who’d be up there one day, celebrating God.

This entry kind of jumped around a bit, so I apologize if I went from one topic to another quickly. Long story short; Tonya helped draw me closer to God, which is one gift that I cannot begin to thank her enough for. I read my bible on a nightly basis, and I want to start reading to her on a regular basis as well. I would like for us to sit down and discuss matters, and memorize particular passages or verses that have have meaning to the events in our life. I want to become a good Christian husband and a good Christian father when we have kids. I want to become more involved with the church and with God himself. I’ve even contemplated the idea of becoming involved (eventually) with church leadership in some sort or capacity.

If anyone has any suggestions on good reading on the topics of being a good Christian husband, living a Christian life, etc, please feel free to give names and authors. I’d appreciate it!

Recollections on Our Wedding and our First Year…

 

My Dearest Tonya,

It’s hard to believe that it’s already been a year since we got married. They say that time really flies, and I think this past year is proof of it. I remember on March 2^nd of last year, when we were frantically working our butts off at my parents’ house to try and get all of the last minute details finished. Tensions were high; there were plenty of worries in the air (family not making it into town, things not being finished, etc). There were a lot of stressed-out nights and a lot of time spent crying, but after many months, we were nearing the finish line.

The day of the wedding arrived. Despite some worries about the reception hall being properly decorated, things turned out for the better. Most of our family members and friends were able to make it in, despite icy roads, closed interstates, and other assorted weather issues. Everyone made it to the church on time, and we were ready to go. After spending a good deal of time talking with my groomsmen, getting advice and words of encouragement from my father, Grandpa John, Jerry, and Dustin, as well as going to the bathroom several times (hey, I was nervous!), I was ready for the ceremony... or at least as ready as I could be. It still seemed a bit surreal that I was actually getting married in the next hour. Following the ceremony as was laid out to me, my groomsmen and I went and took our places at the head of the church.

Now, I’m used to standing in front of large crowds. I performed in plays and sang in choir concerts since I was in Kindergarten. This feeling was a little different. Instead of a bunch of random strangers with only a few people I recognized, this was a sea of familiar faces, ranging from family to friends to co-workers. The feeling was a bit overwhelming and it definitely didn’t do anything to help calm my already shaking nerves.

The music started and everyone did their part. Brittany and Dustin came down, then followed by the bridesmaids, Lucy and Jonah. Everyone who walked down the aisle (save for the little ones) looked at me and smiled as they walked down, as if giving their approval. Finally, the music re-cued up and you started walking down the aisle on your father’s arm. I won’t lie, I was incredibly happy and filled with emotion. My eyes started watering. I fought back the tears (it was a little too early for me to start crying, and I was sure it wouldn’t have helped prevent your crying in any way) and watched as you came closer. I remember Jordan patting me on the back briefly as if to give me encouragement and say “Great job, I’m proud of you”. I remember staring into your eyes, looking over you in your beautiful dress, and thinking to myself how absolutely lucky I was to be marrying you. You’ve always been sweet and caring, very loving, and always keeping me on the right path. Words cannot really describe how amazing you looked in that dress; you looked absolutely beautiful and you radiated light. The emotion I saw in your eyes is what, I believe, true love looks like.

The ceremony itself seemed awfully short, yet long at the same time. I can still remember you squeezing my hand during the vows, giving a gentle squeeze during parts that really touched you or parts that really pertained to us and our feelings for each other. I remember us laughing when Norm spoke about the weather, and stressing about wedding affairs. I recall chuckling and hearing the guests laugh a bit when you had to have Norm point out to you where to sign, then seeing that you signed it Tonya SBarger. We lit the candle and were soon pronounced man and wife. I finally got the big kiss in public that I never thought I’d experience (it’s on video, too!), and you got the hug you were eagerly anticipating for the entire ceremony.

I won’t say much about the reception, other than the fact that I had an absolute blast at it. The food was pretty good, and I enjoyed the cake, even though I know you didn’t like it too much. The DJ, despite being a little lecherous toward some of our female friends, did a great job playing the tunes we had requested, and within the styling/eras of our choice. Easily, my favorite part of the reception was our first dance. Even though it wasn’t the correct version of our song, I loved holding you, swaying back and forth, singing to each other. I felt like the universe stopped at that moment and all focus was centered on us.

I remember that we talked about how it might be difficult to get a lot of people up and dancing since we were not having alcohol at our reception, but I was pleasantly surprised at the number of people who danced, and who kept dancing. Even people who I didn’t think would dance, like my mother and my grandfather, even got up there. We danced until we were beat, made a hasty retreat (wow, that rhymed!), and made our way to McDonalds for a quick supper, and then went to the Mariott. After such a stressful morning and a busy day, Ie wanted nothing more than to get to our room, change into some comfortable clothes (I think my tux was probably just a little bit more comfortable than your dress ever was), relax, and spend some quiet time with my wife, away from all of the other people.

I’ve never stayed in a hotel room as fancy and wonderful like the Mariott suite we had, but I know that I have never felt more relaxed than I did in that incredibly comfy bed and the room service. Of course, it was an unbelievable feeling to wake up next to you as my wife. It almost made me feel that the entire 10 months leading up to the wedding was nothing more than a dream. It was great to spend time with everyone at our post-wedding brunch, and I felt it gave us a good chance to talk with the people most important to us in a relaxed atmosphere. I’d rather not even think about our wonderful trip to Chicago, but the stay in Mt. Vernon was incredibly calming. I enjoyed having the entire hotel to ourselves!

Our first year as man and wife certainly had some good moments. We had a lot of fun inviting people over to stay with us, including Dustin, Kellie, & Lucy, Hallie & Ryan, and the random friend or two who showed up and crashed on our futon. We were involved in two separate weddings, and we attended one other. We met some new friends, and I reconnected with a few old ones. You had a successful surgery to remove some lumps which were, thankfully, benign. We found a church, and we have made some good steps toward building a better relationship with God and creating a better family.

2008 hasn’t started out as the greatest of years for us, but I know that things will improve. We made it through our first year, which everyone says is the hardest. Despite dealing with all of the downs, and enjoying the excitement of all the ups, it’s been a great first year and I’m so happy and thankful that I got to spend it with you. I can tell you, from the bottom of my heart, that no matter where our life leads us, I am glad that I have you by my side. You are my best friend, and there is no one else in this world that I want to spend the rest of my life with. You are the beauty to my dork, the apple of my eye, and the love of my life. I couldn’t ask for anyone better, and I am so lucky that I have you for my wife.

 

HAPPY 1-YEAR ANNIVERSARY!!!!! I LOVE YOU, TONYA!!!!!

 

-Matt

XOXOXO

Fidel Castro

While I typically write about the daily goings of my life in my blog (when I actually do blog), some news was brought to my attention today that, as an avid scholar of history, I feel is necessary for me to mention. Fidel Castro, the leader/dictator of Cuba, is stepping down from power. He has been in charge of Cuba since he, along with his brother Raul and his friend Che Guevara took control in 1959. At 82 years old, he has been ailing in health in the past few years, and has not been seen in public since undergoing intestinal surgery two years ago. Since then he has made proclamations through the radio, newspaper, and has even called Hugo Chavez, the leftist leader of Venezuela.

In his letter to the Granma, Cuba’s national paper, he says “I will not aspire to, nor will I accept the position of president of the council of state and commander in chief,” Castro wrote. “I wish only to fight as a soldier of ideas. … Perhaps my voice will be heard.”, and that “it would be a betrayal to my conscience to accept a responsibility requiring more mobility and dedication than I am physically able to offer.” (1)

There is an article at CNN which describes the reaction of the people. Its interesting to read that the people in Cuba really didn’t care either way; they expect that Raul, who has been running the country since Castro stepped aside, will be the new president of the country. Castro has called for presidential elections, but has openly declared that Raul will be his successor. Perhaps it is because they fear what might happen if they celebrate their great leader’s resigning, or perhaps its because they feel that the next leader will continue on the same path that Cuba has followed since the 60s; either way they seem indifferent to it all.

The rest of the world, however, is another story. When news of this dropped, leaders and politicians throughout the US were quick to comment. President Bush stated that “”The international community should work with the Cuban people to begin to build institutions that are necessary for democracy and eventually this transition ought to lead to free and fair elections,”, and that “The United States will help the people of Cuba realize the blessings of liberty.” (2) He, along with several other big wigs in Washington, feel that this is just the push they need to “liberate” Cuba of socialism and bring them to the loving embrace of democracy. The immigrants in Cuba, who escaped Castro’s regime by fleeing to the U.S., also take the news as good, but are realistic in the thoughts that change will not come overnight.

In another important topic, the embargo of Cuba by the United States will not be lifted anytime soon, despite politicians being hopeful for the future. Deputy Secretary of State John Negroponte has already stated that the embargo will continue and that ending it may not happen in the foreseeable future. (3) Given that this is election season, it took only a few minutes for Presidential hopefuls to jump on the bandwagon and pronounce their happiness at the situation. Barack Obama (D), praised the decision, hailing it as the “mark the end of a dark era in Cuba’s history.”, while Hillary Clinton (D), had this to say:

“I think this provides a great opportunity for the people of Cuba. I am hoping that the new leadership will take steps to move Cuba toward democracy, release political prisoners, lift a lot of the oppressive burdens that have prevented the Cuban people from really having the kind of future they deserve to have,” (4)

Republican Presidential Hopefuls John McCain (R) and Mike Huckabee (R) also made similar comments. One can easily argue that this change in Cuba has come at a great time for the presidential hopefuls, as they all seek to not only become president, but to be the president that did what no other before them could: break the embargo and help transition Cuba into a democratic island.

For anyone interested, there was an interesting package that was created back in 2006, which is entitled the “Commission for Assistance to a Free Cuba”. In summary, this package details that, should Castro become incapacitated or dead, the United States would “develop a concise but flexible strategic plan that will help the Cuban people move rapidly toward free and fair democratic elections.” (5). The catch is that for Cuba to receive such aid, it needed to have a government that is open to the transition from socialism to a free-market, capitalist driven society and embrace democracy. Should this be the case, government aid, financial aid, and humanitarian missions would be given to Cuba to help ease the transition.

I have long since had a fascination with not only Cuba, but all of Latin America. It was my topic of study as a history major at the University of Iowa, and I was blessed to have several wonderful professors who had a wealth of knowledge in the subject. Whether you like the man or hate him, Fidel Castro is easily one of the most important people in the past hundred years of history. He took control of a small island by waging a guerrilla war against Fulgencio Batista in 1958, and successfully took power in 1959. After the United States ended diplomatic ties with the country in 1961, he declared Cuba to be a socialist state, and since then has been a thorn in the side of the United States for decades. (6)

Cuba lies only 90 miles off of the coast of Florida, and has been a bastion of Socialism since 1961, causing much frustration to the United States. Castro has humiliated the United States in the past: the Bay of Pigs invasion in April of 1961 horribly backfired and cost the United States a lot of face, Castro openly supported several socialist movements in Latin America, installed Nuclear Weapons on the island for a short period in 1962, and became allies with the United States biggest rival, the Soviet Union. Even after the fall of the Soviet Union, he stayed his course, recruiting a new ally in Hugo Chavez in the new century.

He highlighted his reasoning for staying in power for so long in his resignation letter. As a revolutionary he claimed that “Power never interested me”, but in his speech he cites the United States as the sole reason why he stayed in power, because the United States “had done everything possible to get rid of me.” (7) While it is far too early to see how this announcement will play out, I do believe that it will be a very interesting one to watch, and could be one of the big stories of the year, despite it only being February.

Anyone interested in reading up on Castro can read a quick timeline of his life at the following website: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5598311 (8)
Short of buying a book on Castro, its a good summary of his life.

Sources:
(1) CNN News, “Cuba Quiet after Castro Announces Resignation”, http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/americas/02/19/castro/index.html

(2) CNN News, “Cuba Quiet after Castro Announces Resignation”, http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/americas/02/19/castro/index.html

(3) CNN News, “Castro’s Resignation Won’t Change U.S. Policy, official says”, http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/02/19/us.castro/index.html?iref=topnews

(4) CNN News, “Presidential Hopefuls Call for Democracy for Cuba”, http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/02/19/castro.candidates/index.html

(5) Commission for Assistance to a Free Cuba, http://www.cafc.gov/

(6) The Associated Press, “A Profile of Cuba’s Fidel Castro”, http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5ieihFyYXgXh6-PUMoDJOqIfIfEwwD8UTJTTO0

(7) The Associated Press, “A Profile of Cuba’s Fidel Castro”, http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5ieihFyYXgXh6-PUMoDJOqIfIfEwwD8UTJTTO0

(8) National Public Radio, “Fidel Castro: From Rebel to El Presidente”, http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5598311

First day back at work…

Today was my first day back at work after being gone for quite a while. I was unfortunately struck down with Influenza on Wednesday. I woke up Wednesday with severe aches, feeling very tired, running a temp of over 101.4, and a really nasty cough. That was quickly followed up by nausea and dizziness, which made things even worse. The weather outside was pretty nasty, as tons of snow piled down in our region. Due to this and the general lack of energy, it made getting to the doctor very difficult. So, I decided to tough it out, spend time in bed resting, and go to the doctor Thursday.

Thursday came, and I went to the doctor in the morning. After a rather unpleasant test (sticking a long q-tip up my nose to get some mucus), it was determined by the test that I did not have influenza…. however the good doctor decided that my symptoms were clearly the flu, and he gave me a bunch of medicine… Tamiflu and Clarithromycolin… The Clarithromycolin is pretty nasty, and leaves an <b>awful</b> aftertaste in your mouth for hours. Plus, if I don’t eat food with it, it makes me really nauseous.  Its really nasty, and the doctor gave it to me because I still have a nasty cough left over from my bronchitis.  The Tamiflu is supposed to help suppress and destroy the influenza attacking my body.

Anyhow, I leave the doctor’s and get a doctor’s note. I took the note to work and got my meds (they tried to give me an inhaler but I said no) and come home. The rest of the day was spent sitting around and resting. I also didn’t have to work Friday, so I stayed in and rested again, working on some ebay sales as well. Saturday was my first day back, so I bucked it up and went in with a positive attitude.

…the only real problem with Saturday was that, in my hurry to get to work, I took my medicine without eating. After about an hour, my stomach started turning and I felt like I was going to throw up. It was not a good feeling and it lasted even after I ate. Eating did help a bit, but only for a small amount of time. I spent the majority of the day in this state, so I took an extra break to sit down and get some food into my gut to try to aleviate the pain. After 6 or 7 hours of this, I finally got to go home.

Yay for being home, boo for going back at 5am in the morning.

P.S. – I love you Tonya!!

Stuff of Legend…

So, Tonya told me I needed to post more, encouraging me to make posts that are about things I like, not just things that are going on in my life.

So, in that spirit, I present this link. It connects to IGN, which is a gaming site, but they did a wonderful career story on one of the most memorable actors in Hollywood, and he’s actually one of my absolute favorite actors. Anyone who’s seen him in action knows how crazy, yet great, of an actor he is.

He is Christopher Walken. The stuff of legend.

http://stars.ign.com/articles/850/850555p1.html

P.P.S.

I’ve been playing a lot of Persona 3 and Team Fortress 2 lately. Persona 3 is a single player RPG (I won’t delve into the specifics) which is rather time consuming. Team Fortress 2 is a first person shooter with Capture the Flag and Capture points. Choose one of nine different classes (spy, soldier, pryo, engineer, etc) each with their own skills, and fight against another team to either capture their flag, or to capture certain territories. My friend Aaron and I spend a lot of time online playing this one. If you use Steam, my ID is AtmaVaya.

P.S.

We are getting Wiis back in stock later this month. They are expected to arrive toward the end of February, as supply is beginning to rebuild. We will also be getting DS systems back in as well.